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Similar here. I think a major contributor are other social influences other than myself and wife - most notably friends at kindergarden/school, and teachers there, too.

There's much subtle influence that isn't obvious at first, at least wasn't to me. For example, notice how many people (say, neighbours or more importantly, grandparents or other relatives) will often congratulate little girls to being really pretty as the first thing that comes out of their mouthes. Not that they're deliberately trying to influence the girls, but it's sort of "default" boilerplate smalltalk with girls, say how pretty they are and how nice their dress is. Certainly that will affect their perception of themselves, what is pretty, what they want to buy...

Edit: just found the (oldish) opinion piece on huffpost [1] that originally got me thinking about just that last point

[1] http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-bloom/how-to-talk-to-litt...



Compliment women (not only girls) "by default" on their looks actually drives me nuts. It's used even in situations where is totally irrelevant (e.g. radio show). It is really engraved n our culture.


At the risk of downvotes, I will still speak up.

I agree with you, that visual observable complements, over sound-only channels are pointless and frustrating to hear.

But, does it hurt you, that women want to look pretty? Would you like your daughter to be indistinguishable from a boy?

I certainly would feel this world being a crappy place if women were as awful with their appearence men.


Sometimes I want to look competent, strong, eloquent, sturdy (good for martial arts training), etc. Sometimes I'm ok with pretty or cute. No, it's not the same. Don't reduce us to just pretty, please. Look beyond. (Some don't, which is why too pretty can be a problem if one wants to be a kick-ass hacker or such.)


Apologies made, I have not intended to mean that having to be pretty is women's destiny.

My comment was controversial opinion, to the "girls shall not be encouraged to look pretty".


To be fair, being pretty is a good strategy for women. I feel reminded of a recent Sam Altman article where he wrote "sadly, learning Ruby on Rails in <some short amount of time> is still a viable strategy".

Likewise, sadly concentrating on being pretty is a viable strategy for women. It's not that they can't do anything else, but they have this option (much more so than men).


good looking/tall men "is a viable strategy" too, right?


Not so much because it is not a very safe bet to find a wealthy woman to pay for your life just because you are tall and good looking.

Although apparently good looking men have advantages, including on average higher salary. So it doesn't hurt, but it's only a supplement.


You can make the taxpayers pay for your life. Being handsome is very good for a politician. Not a guarantee of success but certainly a boon.




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